Myspace victim competition

Who?

That, I’m afraid, would be me. The idea is to have a Myspace more as a placeholder and to allow me to take part in other peoples sites.

However, there is already a Tom Hares on there (dagnammit!).

So peeps, I open it to the floor. My current Myspace url is a little clunky:

http://www.myspace.com/169037640

and I need to pick a new one. I welcome and encourage possible answers and will donate a prize to the one a pick. No real time limit but over the next few weeks would be nice …

Initial Days of Dating

Okay, I’m having a softer moment -

Following the links from For Your Entertainment, I stumbled across this list of dating rules:

http://mamalikey.blogspot.com/2007/02/ill-tell-you-story-of-my-frigid.html

The comments are nearly as fun as the post itself.

It’s all rubbish of course (I certainly didn’t follow this with the current girlfriend – oops wife, wife I mean )  

Terpsichore Tanztheater

The press has been filled with previews of the current show this week – but then it’s not often there’s a 9m long aquarium onstage.

Okay, aquarium isn’t quite right (the fish are on strike) but there is a jolly big tank of water that’s onstage for the first 15 mins of the show.

The above shot is a view from the sound position and gives an idea of what the audience first see as they enter (most of them don’t see a slightly blurry Midas below it – depends on how many glasses of wine they’ve had, I suppose …)

 And despite the press all clamouring about the tank of water, there was still an audible gasp from around the auditorium as the first dancer dives into the water as the show starts. It’s a very calming opening, as the dancers lower themselves into the shallow fish tank with the orchestral strings accompanying them. As seems to be the norm, there’s a little section played for laughs – the dancers appear to perform traditional ballet moves while standing in the tank, as if at a barre doing warm-ups. And as the tank gets slowly drained (I wonder at what point the audience noticed the water level slowly dropping for several minutes) the dancers move from peaceful motions to a more, well, drowned aspect, as a kind of visual overture.

Then the curtain comes in and the orchestra play out for the next few minutes, the chorus leave the orchestra pit from where they start the show and, behind the tabs, the fish tank is fully drained and hidden upstage for the main part of the performance

Technically, the show is interesting. The original opera has been given a tanztheater makeover and now has several people playing the main roles (a singer and at least one dancer). I suspect having some knowledge of the story helps to understand this interpretation. Dancers, soloists and chorus members enter from the auditorium, orchestra pit, traps onstage and from different levels of an upstage wall while two of the dancers spend a fair amount of time strapped into what I’m loosely going to call a bungee harness. This almost frenetic movement is markedly different from the langourous opening. It was just a pity that one section where just the heads of the chorus are visible made me think of any of the ’smack the mole’ games. Anyways …

Yet again, HMI’s are used (maybe we should purchase some – we could always hire them out) along with our standard conventional stock. Our moving heads also get some usage, as positional spots, and with the HMI’s onstage, the discharge lamps match pretty well against the overall light balance. I’m not sure what the BBC made of the different sources but I do remember the camera guy giving me a particular kind of look when I warned him about the different lanterns used. My tanztheater knowledge is fairly limited but the lighting seemed to do the job – a fair amount of side and angled light, including up from the traps in an assortment of colours (which required some shoe-horning to get lanterns into spaces that had to have performers clamboring through).

Sonically, the show was true to it’s opera origins. None of the performers were miked up; neither was the smallish orchestra. It was left to the MD to balance the musicans against the singing, a job that was, I speculate, easier with a predominately string based emsemble - no brass or woodwind, excepting a brief bird song interlude and only a single percussionist with no vibes, marimba or timps (he did have a tam-tam and thundersheet though). That said, a few mikes were placed, one on the harpsichord (technically a percussion instrument, I suppose) and one each on the three lute players. This was mainly to allow the singers to hear onstage and in the trap room below stage. As alluded before, this was mainly an accoustic show as far as the punters were concerned and it’s a measure of how few opera’s came through our doors that it sounded quiet to me to begin with. The balance was absolutely fine – I’ve just became accustomed to contemporary pieces that have a pre-recorded track or orchestra for ballet shows that are reinforced in the house (not hugely but audibly).

I have to admit to not being able to get to the second circle to listen - from first circle and rear of stalls the singers were audible and the orchestra playing in sync to them but I did have to listen more actively than I have done of recent. This is no bad thing – the auditorium is designed to assist accoustic sounds and it does so (though, maybe not to the degree that would have been useful for this show.)

Common Sense has left the building

Lifted from the Stage Craft Mailing List (thanks to TD for posting it there): 

Common sense has left the building

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who
has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was
since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as
knowing
when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm, life
isn’t always fair, and maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don’t spend more
than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not children,
are
in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well intentioned but
overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a six-year- old
boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens
suspended
from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for
reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the
job they themselves failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.

It declined even further when schools were required to get parental
consent
to administer Panadol, sun lotion or a plaster to a student, but could not
inform the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an
abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became
contraband, churches became businesses, and criminals received better
treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn’t defend yourself from a
burglar in your own home and the burglar can sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live after a woman failed to
realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her
lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his
wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.

He is survived by three stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else is to
Blame, and I’m A Victim.

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.

If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do
nothing.

Insomniacs Down and Drrrty guide to sound, or The Art of Pastry.

 After the requests of various people, I’ve given in and uploaded Insomniacs Art of Pastry. Feel free to copy, download and share for nothing more expensive than adding a credit (or giving me time to run away!)

Insomniacs Down and Drrrty guide to sound

 

So, what is this sound thing anyways?

Sound in theatre can be summarised as the art of Pastry. The art is to find the optimum position with which to enjoy your Danish. This would normally be a comfy chair, such as a sofa, that had entertainment before it, say the TV, and a couple guys to keep you company.

Of course, there is no art in enjoying a cinnamon and raison bagel in the comfort of your own home so professional sound guys (and gals) undertake this at venues around the world that have agreed to host these bastions of society as they valiantly determine the difference between lemon muffins from coffee shops all over – even providing live entertainment, though the dancing girls aren’t often allowed out as most as requested.

I’m liking the sound (hah) of this. Who can join in?

Anyone can play this game but there is an accepted hierarchy and participants must observe propriety at all times. It is generally accepted that the junior member of the team will be the one to actually go and source caffeine and sugar (e-numbers are good too). The local drug trade is fully versed in the requirements in the Art of Pastry and will often have cunningly set up a shop nearby to hosting venues. Code words are used to identify establishments that welcome the junior members. Some of these code words include Starbucks, Nero, grande latte and pain au chocolat. The recent boom in public spending on coffee shops has been a boon to the professional sound lazer. The higher ranking team members have to provide the money to actually purchase the caffeine injections but are allowed first dibs on the chocolate covered doughnuts.

It all seems too good. What’s the catch?

To fully appreciate the art of lazing with yo’ ho-mes, some actual work will have to be attempted. The poor saps providing the entertainment are known to start to lapse if they believe people are sitting about in the auditorium watching them. As the dancing girls won’t appear until they have finished, it is a requirement that the illusion of work be maintained at all times. There are several strategies for this. Surreptitious consumption of warm beverages is recommended, as is not spilling any sugar dusting onto the seats.

One main trick is to actually be prepared to lift something heavy – finish the pecan twist first though. Let it digest. Take a swig of coffee, yes. Deep breath. And lets begin.

What is required are two or three LARGE flight cases full of electronic boxes with lots of blinky lights, preferably in as many colours as the LED industry makes. No, add a few more.

Endeavour to be seen lifting these fairly early in the day – even better, get persons from other departments to come to assist you. Gallowglass is the best for this but those guys trying to get the lights to work will do. Anyone emptying a wardrobe is probably not a good choice. Try to find somewhere to put these large, probably heavy (it’s all the lead used in those blinky lights) cases that is fairly awkward to reach. The centre of the auditorium is a good spot. Make a meal of moving it – you don’t want to have to do more work. Get all the cases to your desired spot and remember, as your assistors think they have finished, call them back to take the wheeled sections and case lids away. Phew! As having more pastries would be greedy, it’s time for bacon sandwiches all round. Here’s some money, off you go …

So we’ve had our breakfast. Now what?

Unluckily, we still need to do a little work. We have to supply some power. Those blinky lights don’t work by themselves you know! To maintain the illusion of doing more work than the poor buggers manhandling steel deck and 20 foot high flats, a large multi-core cable, or cable loom, will need to be run from the sound position to somewhere on-stage. This is requirement for the dancing girls to appear, and happens on every show, even if not needed. Take your time – optimally you are aiming to have the cable in and be just switching on all your blinky light boxes just before lunch. Yes a coffee would be nice, now you mention it …

I’ve had some hot food and really don’t feel like lifting anything. What happens this afternoon?

Now you have to learn a new art – techspeak. In order to fully enjoy the sitting back and relaxing, it is necessary to make it seem like you are talking shop. Wonderfully, manufacturers of blinky light boxes facilitate matters by calling their products all sorts of bizarre codes so that going through a list of products sounds like a monkey loose in a typewriter factory. Anyone wandering past is going to be so impressed by all the jargon they hear that they can’t help but think that what’s being discussed is vital to the proper show set-up, which means the dancing girls will be released soon and continue on their way, confident that the sound department is on top of things, normally rows S,T and U.

What else can I try?

One alternative strategy to having lots of blinky light boxes that is growing in popularity is to have a ‘digital desk’ – unfortunately, none yet have a coffee warmer as standard. The digital desk technique is similar to the process already mentioned but normally involves a fewer number of cases – so far so good. In order to successfully use the digital desk technique, it will be necessary to adopt the ‘programmer’ pose. At least one member of the sound team is required to sit at the desk and spent some time programming pretty chases with the flying faders. Points are given for using LCD channel strip indicators in witty and amusing ways.

One technique for the more proficient is to spend some time setting up the Wifi on your laptop. You can argue that you are setting up a remote for the sound system – remember some of those product codes, XTA 228 for example (good monkey, more typewriters over there …)

An advantage of using your laptop is once you start leeching the building interweb connection, you can use iTunes to provide the music for the upcoming show and the girls online will do things that the live show will never do …

Anything else I should know?

Be wary of people offering work, check that the battery in the laptop is charged, sound check time is preceded by Steely Dan to clear the space so you can listen to your top tunes in privacy and some skill in 3D Tetris helps for packing the truck going to the next venue – the lighting board should always be buried in the set pieces .

Have fun and don’t work too hard. Oh, and mine’s a mocha with some carrot cake, thanks very much …